The Lord has been stirring up deep, deep things in my heart while being here. I admit that something I am growing in is knowing how to see heavy things and heartbreaking situations, and not be paralyzed by the weight of it. That I would give it back to Jesus and trust Him with it, because, after all, he loves humanity more than I ever could. But, I am also realizing that God let’s us see things for a reason, and shows us things not so that we could just sit back, but so that we could join Him in seeing change come to that situation and that life. That we would be vessels of that change.

Today even, as I walked through the streets of Kampala, I see so many kids (and I mean some as young as two years old), forced to beg on the streets by their parents....parents who should be empowering their children, and teaching them that they have purpose and potential.....but instead, use their children and their children’s future for their gain. If you walk the streets here you’ll see a little girl missing her arms and legs, and will later find out that her parents cut them off when she was young so that she could get more for them when she begged. I saw a Western man today, drenched in his expensive cologne, as he walked right past three different street kids, without being fazed or even acknowledging them as human beings.

In our city there are these fancy, tall corporate buildings right next to heart wrenching slums....and I just don’t understand how the two can exist right next to each other, without anything changing. I believe that God lets us see harsh realities like these so that we can do something about it. I admit that I see things like this it’s easy to feel completely incapable. And then I realize, I am incapable, and shamelessly so...but I am dependent on the One whose love is more for them than I could ever muster. This isn’t about me being some good humanitarian.....because, honestly without His love, I can’t bring any change. No, it’s about me and it’s about you joining Him as His love story for humanity unfolds.

Sweet, sweet love. And there is always enough. ‘The greatest of these is love’.....and there i always enough. Even more than when we’re tired of loving and have poured it all out. We possess the same love of the One who created humanity....the love of the One who poured it out for the broken flowing through us. My heart collides, unexpectedly, from anything of myself; now morphing into the one whose essence is Love itself.

God has been absolutely ruining me for the ordinary as I've been here in Uganda. Last night, my friend Jade and I started a series called "Radical"and we didn't want it to end. Please take some time and listen to it. Honestly, it will change your life. And challenge you to live true discipleship. It will make you laugh, cry, get the chills, feel challenged, feel loved.....an most of all, not want to live the same. I encourage you to listen to this series, as we ask God what it looks like to actually live out the Gospel...the whole Gospel...not just the parts we want to highlight and live by, but the entirety of what Jesus calls us to. And it IS the most satisfying life ever. I am hungry for change. Ready to be ruined by Jesus.

You can go here
http://www.brookhills.org/media/series/radical/
and either watch it or listen to it. You can also go to itunes and download the podcasts.
I would love to hear feedback from you of what God is showing you through it. Feel free to email me at mombasa26@gmail.com.

My friend Jade has been here for the past two months away from her husband and daughters, waiting for the adoption of her gorgeous son, Ezra, to go through. The journey God has been taking her and her family on has been beautiful....not always painless....but so, so beautiful. Her husband wrote this for her and I just loved it.

Jade,

It was awesome to talk with you today. Sorry I don’t have pictures of myself to put on here. I guess that’s what happens when you leave, WAY less pictures going on around here. Today was a good day, productive practice this morning, warm day to work around the house, Sunday school prep this evening…etc.

I used one of your tshirts as my pillow case:) How is that for sappy? I like a good tshirt pillow case though, perfect material for faces.

I just about have Samuel’s room done. You’re going to love it. The bed and the dresser are supposed to be dropped off any time, then that room will be complete and ready for a little boy!

I really liked your post today. I know it’s so hard to go through this not being able to see what is coming and not being pleased by the progress. We love the plan when we are happy, we just have to trust it when we aren’t. As the great Mumford and Sons put it: ‘Hold on to what you believe in the light when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight.’ You quote scripture and I quote lyrics, you’re making me look bad;)

I am proud of you babe. God doesn’t waste time, this has been five ON PURPOSE weeks. They are useful to the building of God’s kingdom and you haven’t wasted them with sadness and complaining. For that, I am a supremely proud and happy husband. I mean that. I’m beyond happy with you, Jade, I am celebrating your diligence and discipline. You have followed God on this path that veers away from what you planned. You have chased Him even though it meant selfless efforts through pain and heartache and confusion. Oh man! Man oh man oh man!!! The more you LOVE Him and OBEY Him the more I desire you and respect you.

So I guess we have another week ahead huh? I’m excited to see what gets done…love seeing you at the other missions places helping out. Maybe you will get another opportunity this week! Whatever you do, God is at work there.

I love you and miss you. Have a great Sunday babe. Kiss my kid for me.

Nathan.

Jesus remains Lord by being a servant.

I am convinced that Jesus’ ministry was so effective because of how humbly He loved. He was not afraid of getting into the hard places and loving even there. And this is exactly the way I am to love. This is the we are to love. Not afraid to be a servant. To die to anything of ourselves so that others may be loved. When the Bible says “greater things shall you do”, I think that we need to really compare that to what Jesus is meaning, as well as comparing it to what things He did that we are to carry on. The answer is greater things than what Jesus’ ministry was here on this earth. What an amazing promise to our obedience! So if we honestly want to do greater things, we have to look at why and how Jesus was so effective.....and it all comes back to how He came as a servant and loved out of complete humility.

If you think about the culture of that time (and, to be honest, our culture now), it was all about climbing up the social ladder and gaining prestige among society. How often do even Christians, and evangelists, and prophets and....I search after this! If you and I want to see the promise of ‘greater things’ fulfilled, we have to be willing to love with absolutely no recognition or pats on the back. To love God and love people (the one cannot exist without the other) is not for our own well being or to make ourselves feel better at the end of the day. It is because we are called to it, and created for it, even when it stretches every part of us, pushing us out of our cozy comforts, and sometimes into others’ pain.....and yes, often when it does not feel good to love. (Inevitably, it is the most fulfilling feeling in the end...which I just think is beautiful.)

I also think about the phrase “greater things”, and how easy it is to immediately think signs and wonders. While I think that miracles are absolutely a part of God’s Kingdom today (I have seen God do crazy, crazy things. Let me know if you ever want to talk about this), I don’t think that it’s the core of what Jesus is talking about. I think that’s a part of it, for sure, but I think the main thing, and the greatest thing, is that people would know the true, potent, life changing love that Christ has. Love that gives hope and causes us to see God’s goodness and glorify His name in the midst of the crap and the trial. Love that ruins us for the ordinary, and makes us truly alive, no matter what the circumstance. That is the ‘greater things’ I want to see! And to be honest, that isn’t always accompanied by a hyper spiritual experience. Yes, sometimes it is totally accompanied by signs and wonders, and I want to expect Go to do the craziest things He wants to do! But... are we willing to see God’s will be done and His love reach people, even when there’s not some crazy, feel good thing that happens with it? Are we willing to get our hands dirty to truly love people. To meet them in their struggle and pain, and love them there?

My heart says “yes!”. The greatest thing is that everyone would know His sweet, sweet love. And that because of it, their lives would never be the same. That whether they’re in a season of much, or a season of little, that even that wouldn’t look the same because the hope, the beauty, and the goodness of God is our strength, no matter how long the seasons last.

So, my prayer is that we will absolutely see greater things....and that in order to truly see the promise fulfilled, we would be willing to love and serve without reserve, and with absolutely no one watching or saying “look at that anointed one”. But, that we would live and breathe His love. And through it, all will come to know such love! And that, my friends... is definitely the greatest thing Jesus is talking about.

“The Beloved disciple [John] presents a mind bending image of God, blowing away all previous conceptions of who the Messiah is and what discipleship is all about. What a scandalous reversal of the world’s values! To prefer to be the servant rather than the Lord of the household is the path of downward mobility in an upwardly mobile culture. To taunt the idols of prestige, honor, and recognition, to refuse to take oneself seriously or to take seriously others who take themselves seriously, and to freely embrace the servant lifestyle- these are the attitudes that bear the stamp of authentic discipleship. The stark realism of John’s portrait of Jesus leaves no room for emotion or mood or feeling; it is a decision to live like Jesus. It has nothing to do with what we feel; it has everything to do with what we do- humble service. To listen obediently to Jesus- “If I then, the Lord ad Master, have washed your feet, you should wash each others’ feet”- is to hear the heartbeat of the Rabbi that John knew and loved. When being is divorced from doing, pious thoughts become an adequate substitute for washing dirty feet.”

~Brennan Manning

‘So He got up from the meal, took off His outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around His waist. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash their feet, drying them with the towel that was around Him.’

John 13:4-5

Jesus remains Lord by being a servant.

:: concrete love ::

You've been walked past, in your state of brokenness.
As scoundrels pass, your tissue paper heart rips by harsh winds of dismissal.
While hurricanes of assumption define their thoughts and mold their judgments.
A post-it note stating 'Crazy' they've stuck to your weathered forehead, with uncanny fate. They don't even know the love and beauty that weathered skin has seen.

Doomed. They cast upon you with their glances.
Failure. They resonate with haughty eyes, as if you've brought this upon yourself.

Selfish fear replaces the selfless simplicity of boldness we know as love.

You've seen it all. The Indian with his lucky coin. The ex-soldier with his nostalgic rings. The aimless wanderer with his coffee cup, his stories, and his addiction to nothing other than adventure. Jesus. When will your people see you? We ask to see you. But we don't even want to sometimes.

You are the man with the torn backpack in front of Target. You are the women at the corner of Betteravia and the freeway. You are the child sleeping in the strawberry fields.

May selflessness replace bonds of fear. May hope move past thoughts of dismissal. May we see you like we've never dared to see you before.

I am......Awakened.

This morning I woke up to a clean house {such a good feeling}, and read an incredible article on Africa. I felt awakened. There's something spectacular that happens when my eyes turn towards the East - and my heart is stirred to the land that has held me captive for years. Visionary ideas. Creative catapults. Idealic summersaults...take over and I remember, if i have ever forgotten, that I am alive. Like truly alive. I exist. I think that everyone longs to feel known. That the earth and all of humanity recognize that they exist. That's exactly how I feel when the chasms of my soul open to Africa. I feel like I have purpose. I admit, the excitement of leaving for Uganda is accompanied by a nervous little companion. Not fear, no...just wonder of the unknown, with all of it's anxious excitement. I am ready, though.

Lord, continue to ready me.

Well, here goes the journey.

It hit me today that I have only two months before I head off to the land of the lion and the zebra, stunning sunsets, and coffee skinned people. This last week, I spoke at my church about what I'll be doing in Uganda, and what Amani is already doing.

All I can say is that God moved the hearts of His people. Big time.

In one morning, God provided $5,000...which is half of the entire cost I will need. Given in ONE morning! I am still in awe, completely overwhelmed by the beauty of God's Bride rising up to see His mercy poured out to the nations. I'm humbled that I get to be a part of it. And am filled with this deep joy as I think about the people of Jinja, and the joy it's going to be to finally meet them. Today, I was praying to see the details of Jesus' heart, and what He's been showing me is the simple importance of loving well. I have been wrecked again and again this week by the simplicity, the mystery, and the power of what Jesus did at the cross. I'm not going to lie, I've just been weeping as it hits me all over again just what He did. For me. For you. For the innocent kids in Jinja. And for the insanely hard person to deal with across the street.

I hope the reality of His love through the cross never stops ruining us.

With this fresh revelation of such love {and how irresistable it is}... love that runs deep in us as His sons and daughters, I think how we cannot, and must not, keep it to ourselves. Those who have been forgiven much, love much. And so, I am learning {emphasis on the still learning} to love well.
What does that even look like, Lord? Will you continue to show us how you love us. And in seeing that, may we mirror that unselfish, unashamed, and completely impartial love.

"We can all see as plain as day that Jesus says the number one commandment is to love the Lord and love your neighbor. I happened to move to Uganda and love those neighbors, but that is not the point. As believers, we should already KNOW our calling; it is to love the Lord and love our neighbors by caring for them in whatever broken state they are in. When He said that "the poor will always be among us" I don't think he meant that as an excuse not to worry about it but as a reminder that there is ALWAYS a neighbor, no matter where we are, in a worse condition than we are. I can only believe that God created us to make this world a little better. That he designed us in love to show that love to others. I just don't know what everyone is waiting for."
~a sister in Uganda who is loving the Forgotten.

So as I get ready to leave for a land of desperate need, I am reminded of the need right here, in this moment. And I am ready to love well.

:: May we never stop realizing the crazy love of Jesus. And may we never stop pouring it out.