"We must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us."
~ C.S. Lewis
I have been thinking about alot of things and, struggling with some. Feeling so frustrated by the "American Dream" and that I am amongst it. Feeling trapped and wanting to go overseas. Fearful that I haven't done anything in the last year to further the Kingdom. And scared to death that I am living in the ordinary. Wanting so badly to live radically again. And yet... so unsure what that looks like.
I spent all of yesterday on a retreat with some friends on this big beautiful ranch in the middle of nowhere, but surrounded by all beauty. I went off on a walk with the Lord, lay in a field and asked Him what it looks like to live radically. Not just for the sake of being zealous, but for His name's sake. And here's what He told me...
'To live radically for me doesn't have to be selling everything and going to the ends of the earth. There's a time for that. But I am calling you to live radically right here in the place I have called you to in this season. And it looks different. Living radically for me looks like this....that when everything is offered to you and distraction served on a silver platter, you still say 'All I need is you, Lord'. That in the midst of choices, you choose to love me, you choose to love others, and you choose to minister. No matter how 'comfortable' things feel, that you get up off your feet and pour out. That everyday you're asking for my heartbeat and including me in all the details of that day. Because I have so many adventures for you. Living radically for me isn't based on location or lack of worldly possesions...it's when you've been offered all comfort, and yet you still choose to obey me and love on others no matter how uncomfortable. And sometimes that's the hardest thing to do. Even harder than going overseas. That you choose to step out of yourself and your selfish perspective, and be my hands and feet to an affluent, rich, heartbroken nation. I have called you to something greater than you could have hoped.'
I'm ready.
2 comments:
Thank you so much for writing this dearest...I have been deeply encouraged by it since I have been feeling the same way. I know now that who I am and what I'm doing is good. Because the greatest of these IS LOVE...xoxo
I know we don't know each other, but your blog has been inspiring every time I remember to visit it. One can glance at your Facebook and know immediately that you are called to the world. It's just a given, my friend. But to know your place, here and now, in His presence, here and now, is the best place to be and where we should be at all times. It's not easy and it's a fight, but you are doing it and that moves others like me to do the same.
I also read this JUST TODAY and hope it encourages you:
"To the true servant of God every place is the right place and every time is the right time."
- Catherine of Siena,
St. Catherine of Siena as Seen in Her Letters.
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