::an art...and a fortunate accident::

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."


/::St. Augustine

Baba Yetu

Good evening! I have a bunch of thoughts whirling about my head right now. Thoughts of Africa, thoughts of Judaism, thoughts of a new house with a jasmine bush, thoughts of singing kids, thoughts of a childhood friend's engagement.

I feel an expectancy again. Something on the rise. Hope. Hope on the rise. My heart is beating fast for East Africa. Uganda, to be specific. I have been connecting with orphanages there, and my heart so longs to see the kids that I have fallen in love with from across the world since I was five. I'll keep you updated on that as things unfold.

Judaism. I am reading the fabulous memoir of Lauren Winner; a brilliant, free thinking Orthodox Jew and her journey in falling in love with Jesus. I think it's absolutely gorgeous how God is in all of the details. Looking into Jewish traditions like the feasts, for instance, they so mirror the coming of Jesus. God knew. He knew, and He cared. I want to celebrate Jewish holidays when I have a family. My friend and I were talking years ago about how we love that about God...how He's so in the details; and that's how He woos our hearts. She had a vision of Jesus taking her on a picnic, simply wanting to be in her presence and her in his. They sat under a tree, and Jesus pulled out of the picnic basket her absolute favorite drinks. I know it sounds silly and petty....but it's stuff like that that make me captivated by my God. He knows what we love, and He loves to bless us.Something as a simple as favorite drinks to openings to travel the nations. This is true too, as scripture is revealed and the glory of Jesus made manifest through the Word. He knows just how to show us His marvelous plans of salvation and His drenching grace. You can't escape the intense love of the Father. And I don't know how you can deny the Truth of the Word. Both are perfect.

A new house with a jasmine bush. Let's just say, I have found my haven. Me and two friends spent a whole saturday house hunting. Throughout it,we were asking the Holy Spirit to guide us to the right place He has for us. After many other finds, we pulled up to this 1950's cottage, with a lush orange tree in the front garden, jasmine crawling up the brick porch, and a retro lemon kitchen to die for. Having heaps of people over is our dream. It was hard to keep from screaming as we walked through this lovely abode. I will keep you updated on this, as well.

Singing kids and a childhood friend's engagement could be taking me back to Indo this summer. Maybe yes, maybe no. Either way, I know God's plan is wonderful. I have ben learning to just go with the flow. It's the best way to do life. Because even when you don't know what the next step is...you enjoy everything along the way.

peace over you, friends.

{tenacious beauty}

About four months ago, the Lord laid on my friend Allie and my hearts to host a girl's retreat. So here I am, the night before...excited, ready for it to happen already, overwhelmed, fulfilled, and hopeful. I really feel like God's going to do some major things in these girls hearts. And I pray that right now. I don't know how God has done it, but what started off as a simple idea, has turned into 80 girls and women attending and helping. God is ridiculous!

I'm finishing the last bits of my teaching, here in the wee small hours of the morning...and wanted to share a bit of what God's been putting on my heart for these girls, and for myself.

As I was thinking about some of the things on teenage girl's minds and what I think society speaks to them about so often is this idea of 'change'. Things like "Be the change". They hear it constantly, and they long for it. As superficial as things around them may feel, they truly long to be a part of something greater than themselves. And this is how God has created us. Whether we realize that it's God or not. God has created us as women with passion and purpose. We long to be a part of something bigger because it's in our make-up. We were not called to the mediocre. We are called to something beautiful. Called to something great. God has formed the heart of a women with three things...beauty, passion, and purpose.

So here we are, ready to let the passion of our heart and purpose of our beauty (that which bears the image of Christ) to be let loose...but for that to happen, there has to be wholeness. What is wholeness? Wholeness is letting Jesus touch every part of you...not holding back. Allowing Him to have everything. Allowing Him in all of the questions of our hearts, our longings, our hurts, our dreams & hopes. Through wholeness in Christ there is a quiet confidence, a freedom to be unique when we are surrounded with a tidal wave of pressures and standards. Freedom to be true. That in our abiding in His love, comes our wholeness.

The constant question of a woman's heart, even from the time we we're little is "Am I lovely? Am I enough?" Most women doubt very much that they have any genuine beauty to unveil. It is our deepest doubt. Beauty is essential to God. Beauty is the essence of God. Stasi Eldredge writes, "Woman is the crown of creation- the most intricate, dazzling creature on earth. She has a crucial role to play, and a destiny of her own. And she too, bears the image of God."

I think about my childhood hero, Amy Charmichael, a revolutionary missionary to India in the late 1800's. She truly lived out of an overflow of wholeness in Christ. Because of this, she was free. She knew that God had clothed her in beauty, driven her with passion, and created her with purpose. It was because of her confidence in the Love of Jesus, and how He had created her, that she went into the world and God used her to change it! How can you tell someone about the love of Christ, if you aren't even confident in it yourself? But when we are clothed in His love, our beauty is released.

The glorious things to which He has called us to are set into action. Dripping with excitement and passion. As we as women walk in this, our hearts bearing the image of God Himself, we live in freedom and become a part of something bigger than ourselves.

Beauty is powerful. It is tenacious. It matters. And you possess it! So what is your passion and what is your purpose, beautiful one?

{underground railroad}

Sometimes my mom will write me letters and give them to me as I'm out the door as encouragement for the day. Today's said...

'Maggie,
There are over 300,000 kids ages 12 -14 years in the sex trade in America. That's about 500 girls in every major city in the US....in this 'land of the free and home of the brave'.

Who will be brave enough to free them...who will go undercover in truck stops and grap them sweetly away from such horrors? Are we willing to pay the price for their escape? Get up and pour it out....it's time for another underground railroad!

Love,
Mom'

I have the most amazing mom, ever.

what is radical?

"We must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us."
~ C.S. Lewis

I have been thinking about alot of things and, struggling with some. Feeling so frustrated by the "American Dream" and that I am amongst it. Feeling trapped and wanting to go overseas. Fearful that I haven't done anything in the last year to further the Kingdom. And scared to death that I am living in the ordinary. Wanting so badly to live radically again. And yet... so unsure what that looks like.

I spent all of yesterday on a retreat with some friends on this big beautiful ranch in the middle of nowhere, but surrounded by all beauty. I went off on a walk with the Lord, lay in a field and asked Him what it looks like to live radically. Not just for the sake of being zealous, but for His name's sake. And here's what He told me...

'To live radically for me doesn't have to be selling everything and going to the ends of the earth. There's a time for that. But I am calling you to live radically right here in the place I have called you to in this season. And it looks different. Living radically for me looks like this....that when everything is offered to you and distraction served on a silver platter, you still say 'All I need is you, Lord'. That in the midst of choices, you choose to love me, you choose to love others, and you choose to minister. No matter how 'comfortable' things feel, that you get up off your feet and pour out. That everyday you're asking for my heartbeat and including me in all the details of that day. Because I have so many adventures for you. Living radically for me isn't based on location or lack of worldly possesions...it's when you've been offered all comfort, and yet you still choose to obey me and love on others no matter how uncomfortable. And sometimes that's the hardest thing to do. Even harder than going overseas. That you choose to step out of yourself and your selfish perspective, and be my hands and feet to an affluent, rich, heartbroken nation. I have called you to something greater than you could have hoped.'

I'm ready.

~ kiddos ~

I realized three things tonight...

1. I have a deep love for fresh oranges.
2. I can't play long, drawn out board games....I love fast, lively ones.
3. And lastly, the one that's been on my mind alot lately, is how much I want to adopt some babies...right now. I don't even care about not being married, anymore. I just feel this urgency. I know it's not 'traditional' ...but since when did I care about tradition?

{Redemption}

My heart is heavy with the election tomorrow. Not necessarily worried about who wins. No... it's not that. I am heavy hearted because of seeing where we are as a nation. I don't want to get all fired up and talk about how screwed our politics are and that we're all doomed to hell. But, I do want to talk about what a God of redemption we have.

In Hebrews it says God is the 'King of Justice' and the 'King of Peace'.

I honestly believe the Lord is so grieved by what's going on in this nation. Just as His heart was grieved by Sodom and Gomorrah. But..I also believe, that just as God's heart was moved by Abraham's intercession...so is His heart moved by ours. There's something powerful that happens when we stand in the gap and humbly come before the All powerful One, the essence of Love, and cry out to Him. He wants to bring redemption and healing!

For so long, Satan has bound up, lied to, and paralyzed so many hearts. And I'm tired of it! Our God is the One who looses the chains, and sets the captives free. Even us, as 'Christians' who have been held captive by apathy, or complacency...or, as aweful as it sounds...arrogance. You know I look at whats going on in the economy, and how so many are being forced to live more simply...and part of me wants it to happen so badly. You know, there's something powerful about simplicity. In simplicity, there's focus. Our comforts have been stripped away, and we're forced to look at the face of Jesus and say, "You are enough". I hope our hearts will gladly say that. But....if it takes being impelled to that...than I hope God will strave us of our comforts, and leave nothing but Himself. I honestly do.

God is the King of Justice.

In Zechariah 7 it says, "This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another." As His children, we are to love justice and mercy. To live out of an overflow of what we've received. I know that's a buzz word, nowadays, but honestly it's how we're called to live. Those who have been forgiven much, love much.

God is the King of Peace.

He says, " I will grant peace in the land." How easy is it, amongst all the different opinions and egocentrism, for so much dissension to arise. Especially with this election, I've heard so many hurt hearts of people who have been judged and labelled with disgust by Christians. By Christians! It's this that is breaking the heart of God! It's His kindness that leads to repentance. It is God's role to judge and make right....but it is ours to love. Unconditionally. To replace haughty looks, with kind eyes. Sharp tongues, with edifying words. I'm definitely not saying that those sins are right, and we should embrace the sin. But, let us always have open arms and hearts for even the unlovable. That we, as God's children....sons and daughters of the King of peace...would be ushering the peace in.

I love this in Romans 13...

'Pay all of your debts, except the debt of love. You can never finish paying that! All the commanments are summed up in this one commandment- 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no wrong to anyone, so love satisfies all of God's requirements.' It's a simple as that.

I'm totally speaking to myself in this. It helps to right it out, though. Challenges me. Thanks for sticking with me this far. It's nice to be on the journey with you.

~Our Hope is in Jesus. Needless to say...it nice to be amongst friends.