Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I was looking back on a letter I wrote my dad from Indo, and was refreshed, once again, as all the tastes, smells, feelings, and heart joy came back to me as I remembered....
gorgeous brown little Balinese kids
drinking fresh coconut milk
waking up to the sound of waves dancing upon the sand, and having only a little dirt road seperating us from the ocean
out of this world Indonesian food
worshipping with the locals in their language....as we set aside our indifference and God inhabits the praises of His people
going to the Jimbaran fish market everyday and becoming friends with the darling local women
running children's programs for the kiddos of the village
worshipping and interceding on the beach in the middle of the night, and running on the beach early in the morning while tons of little naked Balinese kids run with me. (must have been a sight to see....a tall, white "Bulay" girl surrounded by all those naked bottoms!)
We went to the slums on wednesday and taught the children there. And I was sitting there with l these gorgeous kids on my lap, hanging on to my arms, as I sang to them, and taught them the alphabet....and Dad, this amazing contentment swept over me...as I thought, 'This is really it! this is what I want to do with my life.' It was so incredible to actually DO what has been burning in me for so many years. To be immersed and living with the broken. And as hard as it's been sometimes, I want to do this for the rest of my life more than anything I've ever wanted. Ah, God is so good.
And within the same week, my mom had written this in her prayer journal for me...
endearing child of mine
in hula skirt hair
blond curls everywhere
leggings under skirts
sticky bubble gum lips
worshipping You
alone in her room
tears filling her eyes
holy complexity
crayons at her feet
perfectly complete
I knew then
that startling moment
You'd be sending her
across the seas
dancing into danger
overcoming adversity
crowned in simplicity
this endearing child of mine...in hula skirt hair.
I am overwhelmed by the incredible parents that I have.... in them, I have two of my best friends who have given me consistent love and who have constantly believed in me.
Friday, July 17, 2009
It has been said that before Michelangelo created his masterpiece "David", Davinci had been given a slab of what he considered "unusable" marble. Michelangelo then used that same piece of rock and created one of the most well know pieces of art in history. When asked how he formed such a masterpiece out of such an ugly piece of rock, he said "It was simple, I just cut away everything that didn't look like David".
I think in the same way that's what God is doing with us. Cutting away everything that doesn't look like Christ in our lives. I am far fetched from being finished...but hope, that when He is finished, there will be nothing of me left. Just Jesus, in all of His goodness.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
the unusual:.
"Before familiarity can trust into awareness, the familiar must be stripped of it's inconspicuousness; we must give up assuming that the object in question needs no explanation. However frequently recurrent, modest, vulgar it may be, it will now be something unusual." ~Bertold Brecht
I am hoping for the unfamiliar. craving what's unacquainted. wash over me your newness. cannonballing into newfangled seasons...experiences...endevors. i miss you my dear friend. the unknown has me wrapped around it's finger. can i see through it's eyes? have it's boldness? i feel at the crux of rattling decisions. what will it be? so. what will it be. all that matters is that I be. i am confident that beauty will come through it either way. "be":: to exist or live. "exist":: to remain or to be found. the latter has me curious.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
:::Immersion
A bit of my time with Jesus today...
I was reading about the Jordan River. The thing about the Jordan is that it became a dividing line. It was considered the River of the 'Jews", but to everyone else it was the river of offense. {For instance Naaman, didn't want to be washed in it, because of this}. But what do I want more...God's anointing or man's respectability? This is the same place where Jesus was baptized. Luke 3:21 talks about this. What I love about God is that in Jesus' place of weakness, the love of the Father met Him there. The same love that met Hannah in the temple. In her weakness and vulnerability, she cried out to God for a son. And the Holy Spirit met her in a place of weakness {through Eli the priest} and told her she would have a son.
And, with Jesus... it says in verse 22 of Luke 3 that "the Holy Spirit ascended upon Him like a dove...". First came the love of the Father "this is my Son in whom I am well pleased'....then came the 'upon' anointing. We have been baptized in that too! We stand drenched in the Father's love, and then anointed with His Spirit {our Great Helper}. It was only in that rooting of the Father's love that Jesus was then able to go out and be intensely tempted by Satan...and then come out of the wilderness with the Power of the Holy Spirit.
The anointing comes out of a place of intimacy.
Intimacy comes out of the Love of the Father.
And out of the Love of the Father comes the Kingdom of God.
In His presence we are refreshed. I feel it right now. A friend said this to me. In connecting with God we get the Rhythm of Life...and that is this {Seeking-Soaking-Going} :: Seeking: through His Word and His Heart. Soaking: In His love and presence. Getting filled to overflowing. & Going:Out of that overflow we can go out.
God's power on our life is meant to increase through difficulty. Just like Hannah's pain led to her to cry out to God. And Jesus' time in the wilderness, led Him to lean n God's truth. It deepened His experience with the Father, He got filled up, and came out of it in the power of the Holy Spirit.
I want to go to the unexpected {Jordan River} places, and be immersed...drenched in the goodness. To have the Love of the Father clothe me, and the "upon" anointing follow. I need this everyday. It is our lifeline. Through it comes the Rhythm of life. God's power does turn the drowning place into walking places. And we come out with the power of God. I love that He meets me in my vulnerability, and does His miracles. The Kingdom of God does not consist of words. So I wait to see, to experience, to be a part of it's goodness. Are we ready to go all in? Because eventually Naaman did. In 2 Kings it says, "Naaman went down to the Jordan River and dipped himself seven times, as the man of God had instructed him. And his flesh became as healthy as a young child's and he was healed."
I am ready to go all in. God show me what that even looks like. I love how it says that Naaman and his entire party went back to find the man of God {Elisha}, and Naaman professed that the God of Isreal was real. Refresh us, Oh God. Dip us and cleanse us, that in coming up we are set free and anointed, ready to further the Kingdom that Jesus launched into action.
I was reading about the Jordan River. The thing about the Jordan is that it became a dividing line. It was considered the River of the 'Jews", but to everyone else it was the river of offense. {For instance Naaman, didn't want to be washed in it, because of this}. But what do I want more...God's anointing or man's respectability? This is the same place where Jesus was baptized. Luke 3:21 talks about this. What I love about God is that in Jesus' place of weakness, the love of the Father met Him there. The same love that met Hannah in the temple. In her weakness and vulnerability, she cried out to God for a son. And the Holy Spirit met her in a place of weakness {through Eli the priest} and told her she would have a son.
And, with Jesus... it says in verse 22 of Luke 3 that "the Holy Spirit ascended upon Him like a dove...". First came the love of the Father "this is my Son in whom I am well pleased'....then came the 'upon' anointing. We have been baptized in that too! We stand drenched in the Father's love, and then anointed with His Spirit {our Great Helper}. It was only in that rooting of the Father's love that Jesus was then able to go out and be intensely tempted by Satan...and then come out of the wilderness with the Power of the Holy Spirit.
The anointing comes out of a place of intimacy.
Intimacy comes out of the Love of the Father.
And out of the Love of the Father comes the Kingdom of God.
In His presence we are refreshed. I feel it right now. A friend said this to me. In connecting with God we get the Rhythm of Life...and that is this {Seeking-Soaking-Going} :: Seeking: through His Word and His Heart. Soaking: In His love and presence. Getting filled to overflowing. & Going:Out of that overflow we can go out.
God's power on our life is meant to increase through difficulty. Just like Hannah's pain led to her to cry out to God. And Jesus' time in the wilderness, led Him to lean n God's truth. It deepened His experience with the Father, He got filled up, and came out of it in the power of the Holy Spirit.
I want to go to the unexpected {Jordan River} places, and be immersed...drenched in the goodness. To have the Love of the Father clothe me, and the "upon" anointing follow. I need this everyday. It is our lifeline. Through it comes the Rhythm of life. God's power does turn the drowning place into walking places. And we come out with the power of God. I love that He meets me in my vulnerability, and does His miracles. The Kingdom of God does not consist of words. So I wait to see, to experience, to be a part of it's goodness. Are we ready to go all in? Because eventually Naaman did. In 2 Kings it says, "Naaman went down to the Jordan River and dipped himself seven times, as the man of God had instructed him. And his flesh became as healthy as a young child's and he was healed."
I am ready to go all in. God show me what that even looks like. I love how it says that Naaman and his entire party went back to find the man of God {Elisha}, and Naaman professed that the God of Isreal was real. Refresh us, Oh God. Dip us and cleanse us, that in coming up we are set free and anointed, ready to further the Kingdom that Jesus launched into action.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
A sweet sister in Uganda wrote this...
"What the Bible does not mention, but what must be true is that years later, Lazarus still died. The people Jesus healed were inevitably sick again at some point in their lives. The people Jesus fed miraculously were hungry again a few days later. More important than the very obvious Might and Power shown by Jesus's miracles is His LOVE. He loved these people enough to genuinely care, to do everything in His power to make it better. He entered into their suffering and loved the right there. We aren't really called to save to the world, not even to save one person; Jesus has already done that. We are just called to love with abandon. With EVERYTHING we have. We are called to enter in to our neighbor's suffering and love them right there. Maybe I did NOTHING but allow Happy to struggle a few days longer. But I did love her, and she now has a spot in my heart that is forever changed.Today I am rejoicing in my sweet few days with Happy. I am rejoicing that one day I will see her again and I will be able to tell her how she changed my heart and taught me about Love."
I am in awe of the the Love of Jesus. Such deep, deep love that penetrates cultures and society, doctors and beggers. I am speechless right now, just trying to get my mind around His love. And that such Love lives in us. I feel so unworthy, so incapable. But, His love endures forever...making up for my weaknesses. And sweeping into all who want it. Lord, show me how to love like you.
"What the Bible does not mention, but what must be true is that years later, Lazarus still died. The people Jesus healed were inevitably sick again at some point in their lives. The people Jesus fed miraculously were hungry again a few days later. More important than the very obvious Might and Power shown by Jesus's miracles is His LOVE. He loved these people enough to genuinely care, to do everything in His power to make it better. He entered into their suffering and loved the right there. We aren't really called to save to the world, not even to save one person; Jesus has already done that. We are just called to love with abandon. With EVERYTHING we have. We are called to enter in to our neighbor's suffering and love them right there. Maybe I did NOTHING but allow Happy to struggle a few days longer. But I did love her, and she now has a spot in my heart that is forever changed.Today I am rejoicing in my sweet few days with Happy. I am rejoicing that one day I will see her again and I will be able to tell her how she changed my heart and taught me about Love."
I am in awe of the the Love of Jesus. Such deep, deep love that penetrates cultures and society, doctors and beggers. I am speechless right now, just trying to get my mind around His love. And that such Love lives in us. I feel so unworthy, so incapable. But, His love endures forever...making up for my weaknesses. And sweeping into all who want it. Lord, show me how to love like you.
Monday, April 20, 2009
::an art...and a fortunate accident::
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
/::St. Augustine
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
/::St. Augustine
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